Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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