i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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