Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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