i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
please don't ironically join a cult
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