I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's like iHOP with fire
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
