My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
