we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
