Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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