We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
