The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
