you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
