i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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