The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
