A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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