In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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