He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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