i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at about main and main street
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
