Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
