he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
