Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this must be what syphilis tastes like
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
