Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
