Rock
Scissors
Fuck
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
