This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
