I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
