I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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