Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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