dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
