FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
