Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
