Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!