the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke