I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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