turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
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Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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