I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
