Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
