just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
