Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
