My balls are so social today.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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