What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
