I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize