It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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