We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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