FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
do nipples grow back?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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