I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
