Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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