some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize