Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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