There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
