even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
