I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
