I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
