I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just had sex on a roof
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The air taste purple.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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