Do you still have your period?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
