they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
